LGBTQ / Same Sex Couples Counseling

by | Jun 14, 2013 | LGBTQ

Is Your Same Sex Relationship On Edge?

Are you feeling unfulfilled or dissatisfied with your relationship? Do you feel that your needs are not being met, leading to feelings of anger, frustration or sadness? Do you wonder if your relationship can work – or if you’re capable of making any relationship work? Have you encountered stress related to your same sex partnership? Do you struggle with a lack of acceptance or celebration about your choices by others or find that you’re still struggling with them yourself?

Same sex couples encounter the same relationship problems that heterosexual couples deal with. Intimacy and communication issues can arise, as can the common issues of balancing separateness and closeness. But, people in same sex partnerships can also experience another level of issues that may bring increased stress to the relationship. Because you’re still in a minority group, there are fewer relationship role models and, unfortunately, less societal acceptance. You may be struggling to figure out gender roles. You may be struggling to gain the acceptance of friends or family. And, you and or your partner still may be grappling to fully celebrate your partnership and choices connected to your sexual identities.

What You’re Experiencing is Normal

Encountering stress and relationship blocks is extremely common in all partnerships, and possibly even more so in same sex relationships. It’s actually kind of the norm. Most same sex couples experience some level of the typical stresses found in all romantic relationships, but with another layer of issues to deal with. The good news is that experience shows us that couple’s therapy is an extremely effective way of working through all these issues. And, sometimes it’s as simple as identifying the root causes of your problems and learning a few skills to improve communication. You can feel more intimately connected to you partner, and learn new and healthier ways to handle conflict.

Therapy Can Bring You Closer

With the help of a BPS therapist who specializes in couple’s work, LGBTQ issues and same sex couples counseling, you and your partner can learn ways to improve communication, respond well to each other’s needs and to stay engaged with one another – all the foundations of a solid relationship. In tandem to working on partnership issues, you’ll both also be encouraged to develop more individual self-awareness. This can include looking into your past and previous relationships with partners, friends and family. Developing an understanding of how your past has shaped who you are today can help you develop personal accountability and responsibility for what you bring to your relationship. Sharing these insights can lead to major breakthroughs in how you and your partner relate to and support each other.

In therapy, you will also learn simple and effective tools and skills that can make your relationship smoother. These can help you work through conflict, but they can also bring you and your partner closer. With a little guidance, you and your partner can co-create increased closeness and enjoy a higher level of intimacy. It is very possible to change the nature of your relationship, allow for more needs to be met and to create a space that fosters mutual growth and love.

But, you still may have questions or fears…

We’ve tried couple’s counseling in the past and it didn’t help. I’m afraid that therapy will be a waste of time and money.

Experience shows us that couple’s counseling can be very effective, but finding the right therapist is key. In your case, it’s important that you find one who understands both couple’s and LGBTQ issues. It’s also important that you find a therapist who both you and your partner can easily relate with in terms of personality and style.

And, you’re not the first couple who has tried and failed at therapy. Many people come to BPS having worked with other therapists who were not trained to handle couple’s or LGBTQ issues or who they couldn’t relate with – which is a waste of time and money. At BPS, we’ll conduct a increase the likelihood of a good fit, BPS offers an online therapist directory and match you with a therapist who is trained and experienced in working with same sex couples and whose personality is a good match with yours and your partner’s. Once you find that good match, it’s up to you. Making a commitment to better your relationship may prove to be the investment of a lifetime. Imagine being much happier in your relationship on a regular basis and ask yourself if that is worth giving therapy another shot.

I’m afraid of the things I might hear or say in therapy. I’m not sure if our relationship could survive the truth.

Your fear is very valid and, honestly, things might get worse before they can get better. It’s natural and normal to experience increased stress and tension in the relationship when you first begin therapy. But, the process of improving your relationship begins with addressing the difficult issues that have kept you from enjoying a healthy and loving partnership. Therapy can provide you with a safe and supportive environment in which you’ll work through those bumps that can keep you stuck. Facing the root of your conflicts can actually increase closeness and intimacy as you develop a stronger and more honest connection. And, in therapy, you can develop the skills needed to work through conflict on your own when it arises again.

I think we need a therapist who really understands LGBTQ issues or is part of the community.

Again, finding the right therapist is key. You can express this desire during a increase the likelihood of a good fit, BPS offers an online therapist directory and help find the best match between you and a BPS therapist. Once you receive therapist recommendation(s), you’re encouraged to interview the therapist and ask questions about his or her background and relationship to the LGBTQ community. This will also give you an opportunity to feel out the dynamic of the potential therapeutic relationship and decide if personality is also a good fit.

To increase the likelihood of a good fit, BPS offers an online therapist directory which will help you to determine what your specific issues are and to ensure a good match between you and a BPS therapist in terms of personality, style and expertise.

Check out our free, online therapist directory, which will match you with a therapist who has expertise working with couples and LGBTQ issues.

LGBTQ Counseling for Adults

by | Jun 14, 2013 | LGBTQ

Is Your Sexual Orientation Making You Feel Isolated, Anxious or Confused?

Are you lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered or questioning if you may be? Have you been grappling with or questioning self-identity? Do you wonder how your sexuality, behaviors and beliefs fit into the world? Do you spend a lot of time worrying about what people think about you now or what they will think if or when you decide to “come out?” Have fears caused you to turn to substances or other potentially self-harming behaviors? Mainly, do you want to more fully understand and accept who you are and want others to accept, honor and love you exactly as you are?

It’s not uncommon for people who are part of or relate to the LGBTQ community to experience both internal and external struggles about sexual orientation. Regardless of sexual preferences, most people grapple with self-identity and yearn for acceptance by others at some point in their lives. Relationships and sex are important parts of the human existence. Feeling good about who we are in those realms of our lives is important to sustained happiness. You may feel bad or confused about what you think about yourself or how you relate to others. When we judge ourselves or feel judged by others, our sense of wellbeing is damaged and we can become fearful, highly stressed, anxious or depressed.

You Are Not Alone…

LGBTQ issues are very common. Many people struggle with identity – sexual identity in particular. It is not unusual to have negative and confusing feelings around sexuality. The good news is that there has been a tremendous amount of research and empowering work done around sexual identity issues. Most people feel much better after working with a therapist. With help, you can feel better, too.

…And You Don’t Have to Go Through This Alone

There are tremendous benefits and intrinsic value to sharing your stories with another individual – to have someone witness you, without judgment – while you’re in a vulnerable space. BPS therapists who specialize in LGBTQ counseling are available to really hear your story, help you identify your issues, and offer support as you work through them. The more you talk about your feelings and yourself, the more comfortable it becomes to share. The unlocking process is supportive and nonjudgmental. Rather than remain scary, it can become an incredibly empowering, liberating and positive experience.

Others have struggled with the same identity and acceptance issues and found therapy to be extremely helpful. In therapy, you – like them – will learn how to feel whole as you work toward loving and honoring yourself just as you are. Your feelings and preferences are valid. A well-trained and experienced LGBTQ therapist will help you fully understand and embrace you.

But, if you still may have some fears or questions…

I feel shame and fear around my sexuality and don’t think I could talk to someone about it.

It’s very normal to fear sharing something as personal as your sexuality. Many people begin therapy feeling ashamed, guilty about their feelings, scared or shy. Having difficulties opening up is a common part of beginning therapy, and often it’s more apparent when dealing with sexuality. However, once you admit that you are struggling and begin talking openly, the process becomes easier and more comfortable. In therapy, there is no judgment or blame. Our number one priority is for you to feel comfortable, safe and heard.

I’d like to try therapy, but I don’t think that I can afford it.

This is your life and your wellbeing. Investing in your happiness may be the best and most sustainable decision you ever make. Many people come to BPS having worked with other therapists who were not trained in their issue or who they couldn’t relate with – which is a waste of time and money. At BPS, we’ll conduct a increase the likelihood of a good fit, BPS offers an online therapist directory and match you with a therapist who is trained and experienced in your issue and whose personality is a good match with yours. Once you find that good match, making a commitment to yourself is the investment of a lifetime – imagine being much happier on a regular basis and ask yourself what that is worth.

If money still is an issue, you can talk with your BPS therapist to see if they work on a sliding scale.

I’ve tried therapy in the past and it hasn’t worked. Why will it work now?

As more people undergo therapy to identify and work through LGBTQ identity and acceptance issues, almost predictable stages of the therapy process have become apparent . Research and studies support the existence of these stages, and BPS therapists will help you understand where you are in the healing process. Our therapists have worked with many people with similar feelings, behaviors and thoughts to yours. And these people now feel better. They are in a good place and feel more secure and confident about who they are. That success is an option for you, too.

To increase the likelihood of a good fit, BPS offers an online therapist directory which will help you to determine what your specific issues are and to ensure a good match between you and a BPS therapist in terms of personality, style and expertise.

Check out our free, online therapist directory, which will match you with a therapist who has expertise working with LGBTQ issues.